I am a member of the National Speakers Association, but I know that I could benefit by joining the National Listeners Association.
As a Bamboo Farmer, listening is such an important skill to develop. I would go as far as saying that it’s a superpower. Better listening will improve every relationship you have personally and professionally–listening will increase your ability to connect.
We teach a baby how to walk and how to talk, but who teaches them how to listen? It’s not something we do. We just assume it will happen. Sadly, we are left to figure it out ourselves.
““We teach a baby how to walk and how to talk, but who teaches them how to listen?” ”
Fortunately, you can become a better listener.
Why is it important to be a better listener?
First of all, without listening it will be difficult for you to build trusting relationships. People will be more comfortable communicating with you when they trust you. Listening with the intent to understand is a great way to build relationships with coworkers, family members, teammates, and anyone around you. Listening is a way of showing respect. You’ll go so much further in life by being a better listener.
What are the obstacles and challenges to becoming a better listener?
Distractions, lack of focus, and ego are the Kryptonite to the superpower of listening.
When it comes to distractions, we must put away the phone, laptop, or whatever is getting in the way of our listening.
Focus is a tough one because our thoughts will trail off at times, or we are preparing a response and not listening. Practice active listening to focus on the person in front of you.
Ego is another big distraction because we’re constantly worrying about ourselves, our schedule, our next meeting, or what we want to say next.
Tips and Ideas to become a better listener?
Suspend judgment. Suspending judgment is much easier said than done because we are wired to judge and discriminate. If we didn’t judge and discriminate, anything would be okay.
When listening, remain curious and neutral like an anthropologist.
Make it a goal to become a better listener. Look for opportunities to practice listening - make listening a priority.
Learn to be comfortable with silence in your conversations.
Listen actively. Pay attention to the words and the body language of the speaker. Make eye contact. Use nonverbals such as a head nod to show you are listening.
Minimize distractions. Put away anything that will distract you from listening. Silence your phone, close your laptop, and if you’re connecting virtually, remove all windows except for the Zoom window (or whatever platform you are using).
Practice the 80/20 rule in conversations. Listen 80% of the time, and talk 20% of the time.
On the Bamboo Farm, relationships are what it’s all about, and if you practice these seven ways to become a better listener, you’ll grow your relationships and your Bamboo Circle.
This post is based on a podcast episode by Greg Bell.
Listen below for the full episode: