Many years ago, I was heading to Toronto on a direct flight from Portland, Oregon, for a keynote presentation. As we were about to land in Toronto, the pilot got on the intercom and said, “sorry, folks, we’re going to have to turn back and go to New York.”

I quickly realized I was going to miss my meeting, and I was upset and thinking about it. And a woman directly next to me was even more upset because she was going to miss a shopping trip she had planned with her sister, who she hadn’t seen for months. Both upset, we chatted back and forth about our frustrations when we overheard a sniffling woman in front of us who was on the phone with her mom, and we could hear her say, “Mom, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it to dad’s funeral.”

Our jaws dropped, and we immediately stopped our complainting. They seemed so small at the moment, and all we could do was try to comfort her in a challenging situation.

What’s interesting about what happened is that my situation didn’t change–I still had to call my client and deal with the problem–but hearing that woman’s situation completely changed my perspective.

A lot of times, we’re in situations where, if we just reframe our “challenging” situation, we would come up with a different perspective on how to deal with it. The problem may not change, but our attitude would. Reframing is a critical skill that can help us get through life and turn a negative situation into something positive (or at least not as negetive).

To enhance your reframing skills, use these three tips:

Self-Coach Yourself.

I wrote the book What’s Going Well? because I wanted to give people tools for digging themselves out of challenging times. Asking that question can help you change your perspective because it will get you to focus on What’s Going Well instead of only focusing on what’s going wrong.

When Things Aren’t Going Well, Find a Lesson.

In challenging situations, instead of complaining and dwelling on the issue, ask yourself what lesson you can learn from it. Because if you can learn from it, you can avoid it in the future and help others overcome those same difficulties.

Use Stories from the Past to Overcome Something Current

When facing something challenging, one way to put things in perspective is to think about all the challenging things you have overcome. You have somehow managed through 100 percent of the challenging things in your past and use this knowledge to affirm that you can overcome the current challenge(s) you face.